Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
