I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
