Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
