Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
