There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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