Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize