Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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