boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize