Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
