i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
