Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
