I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
