I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
