how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
