I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she told me i tasted like america
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
