if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
