i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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