Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
