i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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