yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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