youre lurking in front of me
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
