my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
