May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
