I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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