Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
