No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
