So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
