im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fuck appropriateness.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
