Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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