Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
