maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
