Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
