my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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