lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
