I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
