Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
