I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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