It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
