I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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