Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
