...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
