i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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