So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
