everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
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