Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I looked at my own cervix.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
