So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize