5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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