I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
