Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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