Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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