ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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