I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
