WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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