The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
