there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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