I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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