East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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