Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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