Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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