this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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