my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize