i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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