I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
