Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
