they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
