so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
