Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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