evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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