I hate all girls vehemently.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
